It's taken me 3 weeks now to write down how I'm feeling about the loss of my beloved Stella. We finally got to bring Stella home to be with us, so to speak, which has brought the emotions to the surface again. On Saturday I went to Banfield Vet Clinic to pick her up (the urn with her ashes). As I walked up to the front desk at the clinic, two of the staff saw me and started to well up with tears. They knew why I was there before I said anything. Next thing I know, I'm standing there crying my eyes out with two people I don't know very well, but they knew my Stella and loved her and were sharing my grief. She licked pants which no one liked and would annoy people by trying to get them to pet her, she snored really loud and farted so badly she could clear a room but she won over the hearts of people who weren't really dog lovers and kids who were once afraid of dogs. She was a huge dog with a funny body and scary breed. I was once told that even though she looked intimidating, her big brown eyes had the sweetest look to them, you knew she was friendly. Some have said that she was lucky that I rescued her, but really, I'm the lucky one.
When I was single living in NYC, she was my constant companion and protector. When I was pregnant with Ellis and very sick, she would lay with me every night providing a comfort that was unexplainable. It was like she knew I needed her. We always knew our home was safe as she was our constant guardian (no one would have gone up against that bark!). After Leight was born, she slept by the front door for weeks as she never had, like she knew she had one more to watch out for. She was Elli's best friend. She would let Ellis do anything to her from using her as a step stool to dressing her up. She was always patient and gentle with her. She adored Ellis. For the entire 9 years of her life, she slept next to me, as close to my side of the bed as possible. I hope at Ellis' young age, she will carry some memories from their time together. I'm sad to know Leighton will not have that. I guess I always knew this day would come, but thought we would have more time together. She was taken from us to early. For now, we go forward in the Gibbons' househould with a huge void. Somedays we think we hear her or see her walk by. We can't quite bring ourselves to put away her dog bowls so instead we've created our own little area that is a bit of a shrine to her life. In the photo above you'll notice a picture frame with her photo and writing beneath it. This was Darren's gift to me, a poem about her life and how much she meant to us. Darren grew to love her as much as I and for that I was always grateful (love me, love my dog!).
Stella, our sweet dog angel, you're on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge now and some day we'll see you again!
In her favorite spot the last couple of weeks of her life. She slept all day and night. 
Stella absolutely loved the snow even when she wasn't feeling well. This is her last play in the snow taken shortly before she left us. The irony is, after everything was over, we came home to see her paw prints in the snow. It hurt terribly to see them and not see her, but it was a reminder of her as well. When the snow came again shortly after, it was sad to see them disappear. Every time we looked out the window, we expected to see her prancing around the back yard in the snow or bounding of the deck to come back inside.
Our last picture together.